Make your own free website on Tripod.com

Excerpt from a mental health newsgroup

 

Casual Sex without commitment among friends.
Relief for those who have no current partner

By Dr. JKR (sex therapist) Condensed because of space limitations.

Sex is a vital part of the lives of most people and sometimes a problem for those who 
are unattached and have no regular partner. This is where I've found casual sex among 
good friends to be beneficial. Occasional casual sexual contact in a comfortable 
setting is generally more satisfying physically and mentally than masturbation or some other methods of trying to find satisfaction.

Lack of physically satisfying sexual activity, especially for someone with healthy 
appetites, can lead to depression over time and many other problems as well. Simply put 
it can be frustrating and hard on the nerves and affect tempers, sleep, and even 
appetite. Masturbation can relieve these situations to some degree but in most cases 
simply isn't quite enough. It equates to taking an aspirin for a migraine, a little relief but never enough. 

I'm a firm believer in casual sex with someone you are comfortable with, and who will 
take the time to find out what your needs are and not just worry about their own. 
In this day and age the bar scene "just to get laid" is not a good idea and can be 
downright dangerous. 

As much as it seems to go against conventional ideas I recommend finding a friend who 
hopefully has mutual needs and take time to discuss whether a physical relationship 
might be a good thing for both of you as a therapeutic activity that fills both persons 
needs. Most everyone has a friend they can discuss their sex life or lack thereof 
with. The discussion should include all your sexual preferences and whether or not 
they are compatible with each other, are both comfortable with these preferences and setting some ground rules about any limits either might have.

Many people have hangups about sex with friends but isn't it far better to have 
friends willing to help than to go to a prostitute (male or female), settle for 
solitary masturbation or take up with a stranger for a one night stand? Personally I 
have had relationships (physical) with good friends and found it very 
satisfying on most levels, and far safer than some alternatives and without affecting the friendship. 
A good friend will understand and be compassionate and loving while making the experience worthwhile both physically and mentally. This relief however temporary can also help you avoid getting involved with someone you may not know well enough yet and possibly are not compatible with. 

If you can get by societies "moral" hangups  that say a physical relationship among friends is bad you may find life just a little fuller and filled with less stress and both you and your friend will be happier for it. After all what are friends for if not to help each other?

Dr. J.K.R